Taking and Giving (Toldot)
In parashah Toldot we are told of the birth of the two sons of Isaac and Rebecca. From the very womb within her Rebecca senses the struggle which will manifest itself throughout the lives of her sons. It seems that even from the womb these two are competing for the favor of God, their parents, and the others around them. As they emerge from the womb the struggle for mastery begins; But the children struggled together within her; and she said, "If it is so, why then am I this way?" So she went to inquire of the LORD. And the LORD said to her, "Two nations are in your womb; and two peoples shall be separated from your body; and one people shall be stronger than the other; and the older shall serve the younger." (Gen 25:22-23,NAS) But even as they struggle God has made His choice. The younger one will be the one who will bear the covenants and promises. But does this prophecy mean that the older one has no place with God? Does it necessarily follow that because Jacob has been chosen by God for this favored position, that this leaves Esau without God’s love? Or does that become his assumption? So often rather than recognizing ourselves for who we are and being comfortable in our own skin, we insist on comparing and having what belongs to the other. We insist on self-protection, even at the expense of the other. This almost invariably leads to taking from the other what might just as easily been received freely from them as a gift.
From the time the two sons are boys it seems they are competing for their parents’ love. Esau finds favor with Isaac, while Jacob seems to be his mother’s favorite. Rather than the two sharing that love, and receiving from their parents, they contend with one another for what both should have in abundance.
Recognizing that Isaac, his father, favors Esau, Jacob schemed to ensure that in the end he would be the one who received his father’s blessing. It may be true that Esau had no appreciation for the spiritual gifts which God might have bestowed upon him. Never the less, it was not God’s intention that Jacob gain these gifts by deceiving first his brother, and then his father. Look at the serious damage that was done because he insisted on finding a way to take what God intended to give him. He irreparably damaged his relationship with his only brother, and cause a rift which last most of their lives. In addition, he was sent away from his home, away from his mother and father, and as far as we can determine from the biblical record, he never saw his beloved mother again. All this damage caused by Jacob’s insistence on taking what God intended him to receive as a gift. Who knows but that in the end it might have resulted in a blessing for both sons, instead of a perpetual struggle between them. A struggle which it seems still manifests itself today.
So much of the story of man, is our striving to take from another what is meant to be received, we need to learn how to receive from one another and from God. God’s intention is to bless all of us, if we are willing to wait for our blessing.